Monday, December 14, 2009

Turn Here?

It would be a disservice to myself if I didn't write tonight. But I'm in a raw type of mood so bear with me. I'm tired and sweaty from the dance parties in my room. Today was the last day of attending Pace University.

Wow. I knew this day was coming, it was somewhere in the back of my head, hiding with thoughts of -- one day I will eventually age. I didn't even bother finding out when school ended, someone told me last week, and when I knew, something danced around in my stomach. Everything about me made annoying gestures to express that change was coming.

When I woke up this morning, there was an outfit waiting, but typically I dress to suit my mood, so the black dress was not going to work, color is what I wanted. Yeah I'm almost sure I looked off today. It's tough when one's thoughts keep one from noticing if an ensemble matches. (someone commented)

This entire morning and afternoon I felt jittery, if someone were to say boo, I might have reacted aggressively. I missed the Intergenerational Technology graduation for the elderly, but we'll get to that on another post. I was on the brink of something, pacing around Pace, until I thought, I am going to see my Advisor.

And this worked. He had no idea I was wigging. I sat there calmly for chit chat. He asked questions, I answered, and I felt human again. Thank You.

After this I went on to poetry class. We went around in circles, reading our work, then reading anonymous work, & guessing it's author, this being a special exercise for the last class. There was one poem that addressed us all as talentless hacks. Yeah, I loved it. Everyone joked with each other, I smiled broadly many many times.

There really is no comparison to a poetry class. Such a class is therapy with laughs, it's a place where the inappropriate is welcomed in Santa style with milk and cookies. I will miss this group of people -- It was a good mix. (Well, it ain't over yet -- Hooray for drinks tomorrow.)

After class I went to dinner with a friend whom I had previously deemed as a doofus. But, you know what? Sometimes second chances are worth it. The doofus label is removed, so smile. And when you wake up tomorrow morning, do this favor for me, say,  "I am amazing," or "shamazing" aloud. And let me know if you feel anything.

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