Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Coffee Withdrawal

All production has stopped  today.  It's day two of no coffee. Yesterday wasn't so bad, I thought I was getting off easy, well I thought that too soon. Today I awoke in a cloud state. You know when you wake up and ask yourself- Why am I waking up? That was me this morning, so I went back to sleep for two more hours. I don't know how I'm going to hold an actual work schedule when I graduate. .

Here's what I did today: I ate, went to the bank, played a hand of cards, and watched this Brazilian soap opera in which Brazilian actors/actresses attempt to pose as Indians - dress like them - talk like them - Ali Baba the whole bit. 

So, my current news really isn't my news, but my mother's. Two nights ago she told me that she's going to Florida this week to buy an Apt. and to shhh because she isn't telling my father. Come on! Today she told me that she's going to leave him a note saying that she's staying with a friend in NJ and I am to tell him I don't know where she is. This could not be at a worse time. I'm leaving next week on my trip - and now I'm left alone with father who will most likely be irate at the fact that my mother has up and left again without word. The best was when she left a note saying: Dear Bobby I've gone to Isreal - I didn't tell you because you would bother me too much - God Bless. 
I also understand why she has to do this, and I'm a little proud that she is. She has been wanting to move to FL for years now. Every year my father tells her next year. She's Brazilian she can't take the change of season any longer. She's 67 and deserves to be happy. If FL makes her smile, then that is where she should be. It's too bad my father doesn't think so - He is in for a surprise. 

Two days till I talk to R, I don't want to use Aden anymore, it doesn't feel right. I miss him. I don't know what to think or what to want. If he's going to tell me it isn't worth it - I am not going to change his verdict. I want someone who will fight for me, to change for me, to make me change for him. If I get the tired - "It's so hard" Then I will make it easier and retire from this whole subject. Ah sad face. 

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