The tone has changed, let me you play a bit of music that my precious magic, my heart has stored away. I thought it away, but how can I leave myself?
After leaving A I went off to a Walt Whitman thing at school. I sat through two hours of W. Whitman, and two songs by Whitman sung by an opera singer. Of course I wasn't listening to the whole thing. I tend to focus in and out of class, and when my ear catches a good word I write it down, like, Piove, it's raining.
The notes I jotted down at the Whitman reading were "Manahatta," the American Indian's take on Manhattan. I then wrote, "I return after death to be with them," here are Whitman's words claiming a return to life in order to be with women he may fancy. For what ever reason, I found this worthy of a smile. Then lastly I wrote, "Nevah." This word wasn't Whitman's, it was a Professor's. As this professor read his choice of W.W. his words were meticulous, aside from his "Nevah." What to say of this "nevah," but, don't you change it.
After this talk there were refreshments. I took a bite of sugar cookie, exchanged words with a few people that I should be getting to know more, then went down stairs. When I peered down into the courtyard at the trees adorned by holiday lights, something stirred within. My days are numbered here, I thought. And I hate that cafeteria, but I'm going to miss it much, I thought this as I bought a yogurt.
While eating yogurt by the Christmas tree near the front entrance, this guy that dropped out of my Italian 101 came by to chat a little. We did the how are you-s, he asked what I was doing, I told him I was thinking about seeing the lighting of the Rockefeller tree, as well as charging my phone. (I had unplugged the tree, just for a little.) He offered to come with and before I could say no, I said yes. As we walked towards the subway, I noticed he was affecting my mood. You see he is Mr. Brooklyn, Mr. Tough, Mr. tattoos all over one's neck, and although I have no qualms about being tough, except I did not feel like putting tough on at that moment, nor did I want any company, nor did I want this person over thinking this acquaintance-ship.
So, I told him that I changed my mind and that I was going to study instead. He walked me back to school. I entered the front entrance, went down a flight of stairs, walked a long hallway, then down another flight of stairs, and left the building by a side exit. Needless to say, but I have done this on more then one occasion. And I have just decided that I am not going to do that anymore. What's wrong with saying no thank you, if it's the truth?
When I got to 49th it was raining, so I purchased an umbrella. As I walked towards the tree I realized that I was being filtered onto specific streets, we were all being guided on a specific route. I almost turned back at this because I am not a fan of crowds, people do not think clearly when in a crowd situation. So, I elected to stroll on the street alongside cars, until I could not anymore. On the street corner of 51St. and something I was told by an officer that I should just turn back because there was no way that I would get near the tree, "It's a bad night to see the tree," he said.
Then the strangest thing occurred, he started making small talk with me? He made a comment about how he forgot his umbrella. At this I looked at the other officers without umbrellas, and asked, "Are you supposed to have an umbrella?" And we laughed a little. Then I asked for the best route to the Orange line. His friend, another cop moved a blockade and allowed me to go the way that was needed. So, hear this -- There are exceptions to the testosterone cop theory.
As I unhurriedly walked to the subway near Radio City I saw the lit tree on a massive screen, and remembered why I was there. This caused me to change course, as I walked further on, I thought I'll go as far as I can. I got past the screen and was parallel to the Anthropology store. When I looked up there were employees with name tags doing the wave, attempting to attract attention. This made me laugh. And then I saw it! (The tree) I saw it's reflection in the window and thought O how lovely. I thought how funny it would be if I just up and left at that moment. But I was so close why not inch my way a little more -- so I did -- And I eventually saw the sizable dazzling pine. I said, "Hello," stood there for seconds, then turned and walked away, mission accomplished.
My boots were soaked through -- This only meant my feet were wet -- And what does that matter? I head to Penn Station where I had planned on meeting A and friends to return ourselves back to Jersey. And I think I'm going to stop here. There's more as there always will be, but the trick it to know when to call it.