Saturday, August 15, 2009

Day 22

I woke up at 6 something A.M. to go jogging. Those who know me know that waking up at the A.M. to jog is something I do not do. I didn't even have a pair of sneakers. They were more like walking shoes. It was a funny sight.

Anyhow, I ran along the path parallel to the blue sea, the Russian was long forgotten. I had picked a building in the horizon as a destination point, yet when I got to it, I kept going. Back at home I couldn't run four blocks without getting winded. But there was something about using my body as a vehicle to explore that made it possible to continue without hesitation.

It started to rain after an hour and I thought great, not sarcastically, it was hot the rain was welcomed. During the walk home I decided to walk on the opposite side of the street, then I started to weave up and down side streets. As I passed local bakeries and salons that were tourist-less, I thought how splendid it would be to set myself up there,  make friends, and learn a bit of French cuisine. I felt strings to home become untied and I made promises to my bones that I would return. It was a good walk.

After the croissant breakfast I moved from the Canada Hotel to the Meyerbear Hostel. I booked a night there the previous day. (I knew the Russian had off for the next two days, so there were no run-in worries.) I shared a room with three lovely girls from Chicago. They invited me to tag along with them to Monte Carlo for the day, but I had to find a place to print my boarding pass to Belgium, so I had to decline.

As I hunted for an Internet shop that prints Andrea L. cornered me. Yes, I know I haven't introduced him yet, there were too many occurrences the previous day to mention them all. Andrea is a tan blue eyed Italian, who would have dazzled me for three seconds if he had only kept his tacky mouth shut. He approached me in the street to tell me he very much liked my fashion. I was wearing Derek's shirt? ha (Thanks Dairy haha) He, Andrea that is, told me he had to rush off, but it would make him very happy if I were to stop by his office the next day. He handed me his business card, requested for my appearance several more times, and bid me ciao.

When I turned the corner I threw his card into the nearest trash basket. Yet, there he was the very next day, complaining that I forgot him. I told him no, that I was just busy. He asked if I wanted to accompany him back to his office because, "I want to spend time with you, but I must work." (Italian accent) I told him no, that I had to figure this boarding pass thing out. (I had to print it or pay an extra 40 Euro.) He then said, "O, I print it for you , it's no problem for me." I was about to do a head shake to this, but I had to get the stupid paper printed, and I did not want to waste any more time on it. My final response was, "Fine, but I can't stay long cuz I want to get to the beach."

At the office he sat at his desk, I sat across from him. The conversation began with real estate and how Bush the "bastard" ruined the economy for everyone . That no-one was buying in Nice. He was most unhappy to say the least. Then as we waited for the boarding pass to print the conversation changed to:

Andrea: "You know you have ah beautiful breast."

I stared at him as if he just meowed at me like a Persian cat.

Andrea: "I don't like the women with the big breast. Your breast is perfect."

Me: "No you did not just say that to me. Ah thank you but, no. That isn't going to work with me."

He studied me for a moment.

Andrea: "When I saw you, I was very attracted. I had to talk to you even if it just for some minutes."

I could smell the bullshit, but I was super tickled that this man thought he could talk me down.

Me: "Andrea, listen closely, (laughing) it's not going to happen with this girl. (Hand over my head. I pointed at myself for emphasis.)

He then started to sing a song about how life is short, you only live once. Why not do something that you would remember forever?

Me: "If you want to believe in those things, maybe that's okay for you. But I don't. There is no way I would ever -- ever have sex with you. So get that out of your head. And I can't believe that you think it's okay to say these things to me?" (I had to speak to the man as if he were 8 years old. He looked at me as if he really did not understand.)

After this understanding was reached Andrea seemed embarrassed or shocked that his tactics did not work. He apologized if he caused discomfort, then went right into asking me if I would buy him an apple labtop if he sent me the money. (?)

Me: "Would you really trust me enough to send me money to buy you a computer?"

Andrea: "Jane, would you rob from me?"

Me: "Ah yes I would totally rob you."

Andrea: "Ah no Jane. Please. Is cheaper for me if I buy from there. Apple is so expensive here."

Me: "Andrea, I'm not getting you a computer! Now go check if my boarding pass is printed because I have to go."

He looks at me like a brat, checks the back office, and returns with multiple copies of my boarding pass. Apparently he pressed print several times.

Me: "Thank you. And now I must go."

He walked me to the door, apologized some more for being forward. I told him again that I would not buy him a computer. He kissed my hand. I left.

That poor man's mind went out for a pasta lunch and never returned.

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