I've gotta say, it's been an eventful week.

This week. I am currently receiving a reaction from the three or so weeks of applying and submitting to a slew of internships, jobs, and odd jobs. The current goal is to get some type of paying job, or jobs, but I want nothing that will turn me into an android. I am going to work for my writing. Those who are doing so will understand this statement.

Since I have not been able to catch my breath since Wednesday, we'll start at Monday.

Monday was the online 'I drive safely,' course. Thank you North Carolina. There were lessons learned. Apparently driving at night while donning sunglasses is a no-no. Sigh. Also, if one misses sleep for 24 hours, it is equivalent to a tall drink. Fatigue driving, drunk driving, the two are close brothers.

Tuesday was Rehearsal of a scene from 'The Gingerbread Lady,' with my partner T. She's my drunk mother, Evy. And I, the mothering daughter, Polly. She took me up to the Freshman dorms. I finally got a glimpse of what they've been hiding up there. Eh. Then it was coffee with Mr. Art. Yeah, friendship, my nicely shaped backside. It's half my fault, I give too much eye contact, it's a fatal flaw. "It's always exactly the same thing: it was settled by looks, smiles..."

During Wednesday's afternoon I wrote about Ms. Windy. Then it was a dash off to the UES to a Trivia host interview. We were told to break up in teams, I approached a fellow interviewee, G. We decided the best name for our team of two was the, 'Craigslist Killers,' he spelled it, "Killhaz." We got along quite well. I didn't mind giving him eye contact. After a few rounds his business friends joined, then a friend of my own. As for the interview, both parties were drunk, the employer drunker than I.

After this K and I stopped at a pizzeria for a - end of the night - slice. While there, we met a man with a large black portfolio folder. The three of us got to chattering about his day, about his folder of marketing ideas for a product he will be introducing to the US, a drink. We gave our opinions of the images, as the talk continued we tried the "Papita" drink, and tasted the fruit in it's dried form? I am still confused about this.

The night was capped off by an incident with a drunken judgmental Christian. Minus 2 points for the Christians. I told him that due to his intoxication, he was in no shape for the judging. At which point he told me: "I'm not drunk, I'm tired, I've been looking for my wife." My response: "Yeah, that's the same thing."


Thursday I awoke at K's to a shower and an apple. Then I rode the subway to the Mid-East for a mag. internship interview. I left with a yes. (Silent applause. The elaboration will happen.) Then it was off to school where I yelled at Evy for being a flop mother, "How am I supposed to respect you, when you don't respect yourself?" Then it was sandwiches with a friend at Baohaus in the East Village, go tis good.

Friday I spent more time with Ms. Windy. Then it was off to a farewell party for my dear friend G. She's heading back to Paris. This makes me sad. I like her for all that she is. I have started to think differently about a few things due to her. Thanks for that.....The party? It was a party. I believe we all know what happens on such occasions.

Early Saturday morning I nagged myself to get out of bed, threw myself together, and caught the train for the city yet again. I had a gig (Is gig the right term?) for a Caroline Herrera shoot. This shoot was at a Penthouse at the X hotel. At arrival I had my face painted, then it was lunch, then I spent the next four hours pretending to be a guest at a fabulous party. For the most part it was lovely getting paid for such activities. It became slightly trying when lounging out on the terrace san coat while attempting not to shiver, while bundled-up director persons told us, "Have fun! Have fun!" At one point I was asked if I could unhook my bra because it was ruining the shot, I can't do that with one hand, my name is not magician. I told him to simply do it himself, so he did.

After that ordeal it was one final dinner with G and friends. The French do not fool around when cooking a dinner. The hors d'oeuvres were many. When one dish was near finished, another was introduced to the table, I was thoroughly impressed by this.

Then we said our good-byes.

2:39 A.M.

"Nothing worth having in this world comes easy."

Is Just Friends Feasible?

With permission I am posting this information.

A week or so ago I received this message. (If you are trying to link this to the last post, don't. The two are unconnected.)


"I saw this and I thought you might like it...

"I Have an appointment with spring. She comes to the window to wake me, and I go forth an hour or two earlier than usual. Though as yet the trill of the chip-bird is not heard -- added--- like the sparkling bead which bursts on bottled cider or ale. When not only from our ordinary life with a proper exciple, we wake with emphasis."

Thoreau

I hope at some point we can still have coffee."

(((What was that, you may ask. Although he edited the quote to his liking, :) that was the good stuff, When I get tricked into my next relationship, I will stay in that relationship due to notes like that. Gulp, this may mean that I am a sentimentalist. Anyhow, the only response I could give was the beautiful truth.)))


"I apologize, I have been meaning to respond to this.

This was lovely. Thank You.

I've been silent because I am currently in a non-dating phase. I know it must sound like bullshit, but it isn't bullshit. I'm just trying to figure life out -- And boys aren't helping. Hence my silence. I doubt you're looking for friendship, right?" (Yeah, the use of bullshit twice is claaassy.)

(((If I were to be honest about the dating, I don't know what I want? This being the reason I have benched myself.)))

Mr. N.'s response: "Friends would be nice - that is what I am looking for."

Me: "Okay, then lets do that coffee."

(((If you're reading this, forgive me for what I am about to write. We shall see if this is a trap.)))

Happy Birthday Blog

Omgosh, I did not acknowledge my Blog's one year Birthday! I am a bad mother.

Happy Belated Birthday Blog!

XO

Me.

Dating: I jus don feel like it.

On an evening last week I met a friend of a friend for coffee. Yes, this was a male person, but since my mind only registers friends nowadays, I refused to bother with any other thought.

When he sat down for coffee, we spoke briefly, then decided to go some where else to eat. When we arrived at an eatery in the West Village we were lead to an enclosed garden area. There were candle lit tables for two, and the waitress that seated us enthusiastically said, "Ah a romantic dinner for two."

At this I responded, "No, no, this isn't romantic." M did not hear me. He also did not here me mumble, "I am not prepared for this," as I sat down.

While I ate it was established that I am an unreliable person when it comes to the dating. At the present time I am focused on securing employment, O, and myself. Anything more simply takes up too much energy. He repeated his own version of this to me, which comforted me about the connection between us.

~~~

When I was invited to an art exhibit the following week I promised my presence at 6:30 P.M. I arrived somewhat late. (8:00 P.M.) M was a tad not sober and not very happy about my tardiness.

M: "Where were you, you're one and a half hours late."

Me: "Well, I haven't had the best day, so I went to visit a friend, and the time got away from me."

M pouted.

M: "You should have called to say you couldn't come."

Me: "You're right I'm sorry. I should have called to say I couldn't make it."

M: "I had to talk to that old lady forever -- I told a friend you were coming, I looked like an idiot."

Me: "Well, weren't you going to be here regardless? I thought you were going to be here with people?"

M muttered something.

Me: "I can go if this is going to be a problem."

M: "No, stay. Now you have to stay at least an hour and a half since you made me wait that long."

~This may sound like another classic late Jane moment, but in truth I was having a hard time with life. It was one of those days when all things go wrong. I lost a glove, (What the hell am I going to do with one glove?) I wasn't as funny as I had hoped to be on an interview, plus other small annoyances. Due to these reasons I decided to visit a person who I can communicate with san speaking. So, I stayed until the down & out feeling passed.

At nine something we left since the exhibit was over. The majority of myself wanted to quit the night, but I knew I couldn't, so I stayed on. I brought M to Whole Foods where I purchased a lemon tart. (So good!) And I accompanied M to Crumbs where I chose his cupcake for him. (He wanted me to!) I chose brownie, it 'twas yums.

While we ate M asked what my favorite movies were. My responses being, 'When Harry Met Sally,' and 'You've Got Mail.' At this M's response was:

M: "Ah so you're a romantic."

Me: "No. Maybe. But I'm only romantic by myself."

Four or so minutes after my suave remark I noticed that M was giving me "the look," the lean in, this is our moment look, and I immedately looked away. Then half a minute after I stood and said, "Well, it's time I get on with my life. I've got to get home."

M rose, "Can't you stay ten more minutes, five more minutes?"

Me: "Huh for what? Nooo I've gotta go home."

M: "Should I call you, or will you call me?"

Me: "You can call me, (pause) or I'll call you."

~~~~

I get it. I finally get it. I cannot be friends with a straight man without complications. (There is one exception to that rule.) I have tried over and over, but all streets end at the same destination. When I say, I'm uninterested in dating at the moment, that some how translates into, I'm not interested, but perhaps if you try I will change my mind. No, do not attempt at waiting me out, because that is not how I run my business.